Monday’s Diet Journal: The Doubter 1-11-10
Today I find myself visiting my ‘Doubter;’ the one who brazenly not only puts the brakes on, but derails my train of surrendering weight. Just when I am feeling invincible about the progress I’m making she sneaks in to remind me of every mistake and miss-step I’ve ever made. Instilling doubt around my success she turns up my cravings button and before I’m even aware of my actions I’m eating a plate of nacho’s.
Fortunately the whole week hasn’t been like that. I’ve noticed my pants getting looser. I’m remembering to include stretching a bit in each day’s efforts. I’m drinking more water and ‘noticing’ what I eat. Bringing greater consciousness to my actions has been my biggest success so far. At least until today…
I had combined breakfast and lunch into a nice healthy brunch – scrambled eggs with a little chopped peppers, green onion, roasted garlic and bleu cheese, spelt toast with butter – but hey, it’s good organic fats! I had consumed a whole quart of nettle, thyme and sage infusion earlier; flushing myself out. I was on a roll.
Along about 2:30 I just needed something small to carry me through till dinner. Doubter had started creeping in with her ‘should-of’ whine:
“Should have eaten a healthy early breakfast and light lunch – You wouldn’t be so hungry now. You should have gotten that article written earlier. Should be more successful if you’re so good at what you do…”
You know the voice. I reached for the Tortilla chips. There’s only a little in the bag; I’ll just finish these broken ones, I thought. I headed out of the kitchen.
But wait – they’d be so much more ‘nutritious’ with some cheese melted on ‘em – not just wasted calories. I stepped back in, quickly grated the cheese, and slammed it into the microwave (I never use that old microwave!)
And before giving the diet plan a second thought I found myself munching down while answering emails. Doubter reminded me of my failings about half-way through the plate. But who’s going to stop halfway through a ‘small’ plate of nachos?
It’s now after 3 pm on a dark winter’s day. Night is falling fast along with the rain and I really don’t want to go out to walk. I haven’t finished the article due today either. I scratch the walk and go online to order that long desired yoga DVD. It’s almost as if I’ve done the work out.
Right?!
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